Just a little post to let you know that things are some better.  May was such a terrible month around here.  Not just my illness, but some family sadness as well. 

Last week was about the first week this year that I actually felt like a human again.  We had company over the weekend and I overdid it visiting and then Wednesday I got my second series in the heptitus B shots.  They really cause my muscles and joints to hurt really bad and also makes me nauseous.  This afternoon it started getting a little better.  I have finally lost most of the weight gain while on the heavy steroids, which is wonderful.  God is so awesome, in helping through these hills and valleys of illness. 

I have been reading your posts and enjoying them all.  But haven't been receiving my digest.  Can't figure that one out because I know that I'm subscribed to most of you that post and are in my friends list.  If you have a suggestion as to how I can receive the post again via email let me know.

Hugs from Nanny and may God bless and keep you.

I hope all of you will forgive me.  I've been so tired and weak.  They are having a difficult time getting my body to let go of the fluid.  I've gone back to three days a week and longer time.   They have been pulling about 9-10 pounds off every other day.  And I still have major fluid.  They have limited my fluid intake to 24 oz. a day.  That is not much to drink and I stay so thirsty.  I was drinking one quart and a cup a day.  I would love to be able to drink a nice big glass of cold water.  But I need to get it out of my mind. 

Thanks to you all for caring about me.  It's a little different having the hubby home all the time also.  Although he is waiting on me,  the first few days he was scared to leave out of the house.  I told him to just take his phone with him and I would call him if I needed him.  He said he had not even thought of that.  I knew he was anxious to get outside some before the really hot weather hits. 

He did get to work two days this week filling in and I found that I already miss him  when he leaves.  We have the best companionship.  

I hope that each and everyone of you had a wonderful Easter.  We saw both the girls, son-in-laws and the grandchildren.  We had a good time with them, laughing and talking.  Watching the kids hunt eggs.  They had gone to the annual City egg hunt on Saturday where they live and they both won the prize egg in their age groups.  Nice picture Bibles.  Of course the oldest one loves the Bible we gave her, but little brother liked the one he got.  I did too for his age.  We had purchased one for him just like his sister so that their nice bibles would be from us.  There Mom wanted it that way.  So the one we gave him is a little old for him.  This this really the stories in the Old and New Testaments.  I told him to bring it with him next time and Nanny would read to him.  He said Otay, but dooes I have to spend the night.  He is not much on being away from home at night.

Well, I'm wearing down.  So I will let you go.  And I will try to be better with posting.  Thanks again for your prayers....I would not make it if it were not for the Lord giving each new day filled with His love and grace.

Nanny 

 Oh my what a week.  We've had so much rain and I think my toes are starting to web.  I know that I'm ready for God's sunshine, but also know that we need rain to let our spring appear.  The trees are filling out with their leaves and blooms like you wouldn't believe.  I so wish I could plant a flower garden.  To dig in the soil  and feel the dirt run through my fingers.  Right now though I would feel mud sliding through my fingers.   LOL!!!  I used to love the flower beds I would create with the help of our Lord.  They were so pretty and I was able to keep out the weeds and would deadhead the flowers as to have more blooms.  What a joy.  For those that love to do that and can, think of me and enjoy a bit of it for me.  Just let me know how much fun I'm having. 

With the foul weather, it has been a rough week on me breathing wise, working so hard for the breaths that I get.  Today was truly bad and we discovered that something was wrong with the oxygen concentrator.  DH fixed it.  But I need to have some filters on the inside replaced that the company will have to do.  I told him this morning that I was so weak from working to breathe something had to be wrong, so he starts investigating.  I wish all of you had such a devoted and wonderful husband as I do and you may.  If you do, congratulations!  He was sent by God to you and you alone.  Don't ever let that blessing go without thanking God for it.  There is not many men that will do what my DH has done for me and still continue on.  I'm really ready for this new era that we are approaching of him working less days.  I know those days are going to go by too fast for us. 

Well, my daughter is getting to the end of her "IKE" remodeling job.  That storm really did a lot of damage to their home but they were able to salvage it.  Some were not so lucky.   She has learned a great deal as to dealing with contracters and has taught me some things also.  The sad part though is that she will now probably have to return to work.  She  had quite when I went on dialysis  to be able to take me and tend to me for other things after the stroke while her Dad was at work.  She has been a blessing and I'm going to miss her visits.  I'm going to have to change the subject or I will start crying.  I'm happy that she can work.   She would really enjoy staying home and enjoying her new "house" so to speak. 

I'm excited because she has decided to get her piano and take it to her house.  I will have to come up with something though to put in it's place.  I need extra storage so something like a buffet type cabinet would be good.  My DH could build one but just doesn't have the time.  I love old  antiques or things made out of old woods.  She is also taking a  wardrobe  I have for her front bedroom.  But I already have something to take it's place and need it out of the way.  It's in my craft room and I had gotten a storage unit for my crafts  that will be a better solution for me, plus she wants it and how can you say no to someone that helps you all the time and  it's your child.

Please continue to pray for me and the dialysis, I'm still having a lot of fluid and I don't want to return to three days a week.  I'm tired and getting out in the bad weather is not good for me either. Some days I just want to quit altogether but it's not an option.  And I have to ask God to forgive me for even  thinking that way.  I do want to do what He has for me to do.

Well, today I will close with that.  May God touch your lives in such a special way that all you can think of is to serve HIM.  We all fall short of His Glory  (just as I wrote up above) and have to ask His forgiveness.  But through His infinite Love for us, He is so excited to do just that--FORGIVE

Hugs Nanny

Just a little update on the yuckiness around here.  We are still coughing and sneezing...our spring has sprung here.  All our trees are budding so if you didn't have the crud before now you've got a good case of sinusitis now.  Every one looks like Rudolph the red nose reindeer.  Sporting a box a tissue with their purse or in there vehicle. 

Went to the doctor for follow-up yesterday from hospital and he confirmed that the pneumonia was improving and but I also have Congestive Heart Failure.  I knew that was a possiblity from the gurgling and having to sleep upright at night.  Also the swelling of the ankles.  But feel like I will get this under control with the help of my Healing Physician, my Savior. 

Also had a huge dissappointment during the visit, my family physician is leaving at the end of the month.  He has been so good.  I was one of his first patients and we just hit it off.  I'm his little boy's adopted grandma.  I do understand  why he is leaving, his wife is in her internship in Alabama and they have been apart for the last 1 1/2 years.  While she was expecting the baby and now he is a year old.  He misses his family and loves them very much.  She is a very sweet lady also.  She has about two more years  left of internship.  But he wants to be a hands on dad, not a long distant one or a long distant husband.  He had even called me the day before on his private phone just to tell me he was leaving.  I thought that was really sweet.  I started crying when he told me and he was saying.....I know Momma. I'm gonna miss you too.  He called me again today to check on me and I told him that when I told Troy, I had to cry again......he told me I was going to have to quit that and I told him that I would but I just got him broke in.  Trying to make light of the situation.  He said he would keep in touch with me.  I'm praying that all will work out for him.  He is an excellent doctor.

My dear husband has about three weeks left of full time work.   I'm getting excited about it, even though he will still be working part time (three days a week).  We are so close it will be wonderful having my best friend to talk to a couple of extra days during the week.  Even if he is outside, I know that he will be here.  A little hint to keep that little extra closeness during the trying times of marriage, usually when you've been married about 5-10 years or so....during childhood raising and financial crises, always keep a date night.  You may not have money to  actually go out but go for a drive, just the two of you.  Get a soft drink and just  talk.  Communication makes a big difference later in life.  So many grow apart during those years do to running the kids here and having to work extra jobs.  But don't let that come between the two of you.  My DH and I always did that and so when it came down to empty nest syndrome...we still had the ability to talk because we kept our lives going also.  Might not be wording this correctly but I hope some of you get my meaning.

God has given me a gift of true love, both in choosing Him for my Savior and the soul mate that he gave to me.  We both feel that way. 

Blessing to all and praying for each of you and the things that are happening in your daily lives.

Hugs Nanny

If ever there were to be Glory given, it is by me, to our Heavenly Father above. 

I came home from the hospital on Saturday, not completely clear of the pneumonia but it is getting better.  It settled in a part of my lungs that aren't working as well so it will make it harder to rid of in that spot and was told it might be a good six weeks of all the coughing and wheezing.  But it's also the time of year in our state that we are budding out with blooms and new life producing the pollen that gives us all  that  lovely stuff.

The PRAISE is that I'm showing some kidney function.  They had told me never to expect return on any function.  This goes to show you what prayer will do.  All God needs is to be asked and He will provide.  I 'm so excited, because this has lowered my dialysis treatments from three days a week to two days a week.  Thank you, thank you, Jesus for Your love, and healing ability. 

They will watch my blood works and watch me carefully in case something goes awry, but I'm claiming this as my healing from the Lord.  He loves me too much.  So to God be the Glory.

Love you all from Nanny

I've done a blog.  It's been a trying, trying week.  My DH took me to see the surgeon (Dr. L) last Thursday about this biopsy thing.  He told me the same exact thing, almost verbatim) that the Lung Dr. (Dr. A) told me that to me this is a very serious thing because I'm not the regular type of patient, there is too much wrong.  That he would have to use anethestic and I would not be able to go through it because of my heart/lung problems.  Dr. L said he is going to call the other Doctors----Dr. A and Dr. S (the Neurologist) and talk to them because it would require an incision on both sides of the head with a 2cm portion of my veins taken out and since Dr. S had already had me on the Prednisone for 5 weeks the test would come back negative, therefore negating the reason for the biopsy in the first place.  Talk to my family physician for another reason and he told me "Momma, don't let them do surgery on you it will kill you and then what are they going to find out."  So by then, and since the steroid are so high my blood pressure is again at stroke level 200/116 and by blood sugars have jumped up to the 200-300 range.  I cannot handle this.   I've given it to the Lord and was calm about the decision I had posted before.  I was not going through with it.  Now, this Dr. S is hounding me and making me feel bad as to my decision.  During dialysis yesterday I had heart pains and I mean pain...just wasn't the tightening and squeezing, it was going into my jaw.  They gave me a couple of nitro's and called the doctor and he told them to quit pulling the fluid just filter the rest of the day.   I soon starting feeling somewhat better....Then that Dr.'s office called me down there upsetting me all over again.  Troy and I have talked, we have prayed and we made the decision last night that this is final...I cannot and will not be stressed any longer about this.  I  should have the decision to say I want or not want a surgery.  I DO NOT want this and feel the LORD is guiding me in this.  HE will take me under His wing.  He does know the days he has given and has known them all along.  So I feel HE is wanting me to just rely on HIS arms and forget this other, I just need to be reduced down on the steroid, and know that I have to be watched carefully, because of prior experiences.  So it will take a while to do that.  Please pray for me as I begin this progress.  It is hard on the body, just as my sweet NC cyber friend said it's terrible to the body, but sometimes we have to go through things of this nature.  I just have to remember that God has granted me this time on earth to serve HIM and that I still have blessing enough to do just that even if it is by computer.  Maybe something I say will encourage just one person and that person will turn to HIM for his/her life.  For God gave His only begotten Son for us to have eternal life with Him....how awesome is that.  Could you do that?  I think most would say no.  But He knew us before we were conceived, He knew our hearts, He knew we would choose Him as our Savior.  How sad He must be at the ones that do not choose Him.  That is where He needs our help, to help them see the light, the love, the joy even through trials,  we come out on top.  It might not seem so for those looking at us.  But  to be able to smile, to voice our love for Him, to love one another as He would have us do....those are blessings beyond any other.  Let us as a whole of Christianity show others that earthy things are just that--materialistic items...they may give us some good times here on earth, but compared to what we are going to have in Heaven, they are N O T H I N G!!! 

Thanks all of you for listening, for praying and for being my brothers/sisters in Him.  I send you my love, Nanny

Psalm 91  NIV
1.He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,and under his wings you will find refuge;his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,ten thousand at your right hand,but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling--even the LORD, who is my refuge--

10 then no harm will befall you,no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble,I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Well, it was a terribly long day yesterday.  The news was not what I expected.  I had written down questions on the way down there that were on my husband and my mind.  When the Dr.  (the one I really respect and the one that prays for me) walked into the door. It was as if he had seen my notes and started telling me immediate all the things I had questions about almost in the order I had them written.  First of all, He had talked with the Neurologist at great length last week at night---he told me about 45 minutes trying to tell him why I could not go through this biopsy. The Neuro (I'll call Dr. S  from now on and the first Dr; Dr. A)  told him if was imperative of my treatment to have this done and could not treat me with my strokes, seizures, headaches and eye problems without my going through the biopsy.  Dr. A then told him that I had already been on the increased meds for three  weeks and did not see how the biopsy would be accurate.  But at the same time, understood that I needed to rule this diagnosis  out so that I would be able to come down on the steroids.  Because of the damage it is doing to me.  So, Dr. A called Dr. S while I was in his office to consult one more time for about 15 more minutes and he was told NOT to let me out of the office until the appointment was made with the surgeon.  I have a consult with the surgeon next Tuesday.  This is all ASAP.  In the meantime, the headaches are worsening and the eyesight is getting worse.  All systems of the disease they think I have.  If it turns out that the steroids are helping I will have to continue them for a while....if not it will take me a while to come back to a normal base for the point I'm at. 

Next to the Endro Dr. (DR.O)....Appointment time 2:15 at 4:15 I'm still in the waiting room with others that came in after me being taken back.  I kept asking and the receptionist on you should be next. You are suppose to turn off your cell phones while there.  But I turned mine back on and called my niece that is the office manager there to see what was going on.  One of the nurses (my niece is not a nurse but manager over the billing, insurance, etc.) had marked my name off as if I had already been seen and  I was  out there waiting.  Had I not called I would have never seen the Dr.  I was furious by that time, upset by the last Dr.'s visit, so the B/P was up quite a bit.  I told the Dr. what happened and he was upset and apologized, so I guess I will be the subject of an office staff meeting.  As it turns out.  When leaving they give you a computer synopsis of your visit and I didn't noticed but he handed me two papers.  Was just too tired to mess with the looking by that time, as it was after 5:00pm by then.  But when I got home started going over the papers.  They gave me someone else's RX's.  So I called them back this morning to see if they needed mailing back to them or shredded or what.  She said that they caught it after I left and to shred the papers.  Dr. O was truly upset about the B/P but I told him I felt like it was a variety of things going on, the increase in meds, the fact I was not going to be able to not have the biopsy I didn't want and the fact that his office was in a disarray with the scheduling.  He just told me to keep close check, because of my history with strokes, my chances were up like 285% for having a massive stroke.  I told him that it drops so low on the dialysis machine that I was frightened to take a B/P medication and it drop and not be able to get it back up,  especially if I'm at home alone at the time.  Today when the visiting nurse checked it had gone down some and also during the dialysis it was okay.  I had a long talk with the dialysis RN and she understood what I was trying to transmit to the doctor.  I do understand the dilemma, but just have a tad too much on my plate.  God has given me some peace today and I had a fairly good day.  I really tried to put everything except today off of my mind this afternoon. 

My sweet husband said he has been a nervous wreck today just trying to process everything.  He said all he can think of is that he needs to be at home more to take care of me.  I would truly love to have him here all the time.  He is my best friend as well as my soul mate.  I just hate to see him worry.  I wish everyone could experience the type of love that we share,  God truly brought together for life. 

Well, guess I've written two books tonight.  At least part of it was written by an author that makes life livable---the Psalm's chapter.  Praise God.

Blessing to all of you,  Love in Him <'}}}><

Nanny